God's Covenant People

You know how sometimes you feel like you’re trying really hard to please someone even though that someone doesn’t make a lot of sense to you, and they seem totally oblivious to everything you’re trying to do for them? Today I feel like that’s what’s happening with me and Dad. He had another dream last night and the message he took away is basically that I’m a bad person who doesn’t love God. In his dream, there was a tree (that may or may not be the olive tree he talked about a few weeks ago, I don’t really get it) and it had some fruit. And Dad, Mom, Nephi, and Sam ate the fruit. But, shocker, Laman and I didn’t. Also, there were a bunch of people in a big building making fun of those who ate the fruit. So Dad spent quite awhile telling us that he was afraid we’d be cut off from God and that we needed to keep God's commandments.

What do the swirl's mean? Probably nothing.

What do I even do with that??? First, it’s just a dream. I have weird dreams about food too lately because we’re in the desert, and I’m hungry more often than I used to be. I’ve always been kind of wary of people who read too much into their dreams. Sometimes dreams are just dreams. In fact, most of the time, dreams are just dreams. I'm sure it's different for prophets, but for people like us, it's best to be cautious.

Second, I’ve done everything Dad has asked, just like Nephi has. I followed Dad out here, I went back and risked my life to get the plates, I went back again to get Ishmael’s family. And yeah, Nephi and I had disagreements that escalated; that’s kind of what brothers do. So for Dad to say, “Oh Nephi (who is apparently my favorite son now) ate the fruit, and Lemuel, you’re lame and didn’t eat the fruit in my trippy dream. That means Lemuel is going to hell, but good job Nephi, God loves you.” It’s like he’s completely unaware of everything I’ve done up to this point. This is a REAL sacrifice, and it’s not easy for me. Which leads into my third point about why this is not easy for me...

This isn’t easy for me because I doubt that we’re really obeying God's commands in this “adventure.” Here’s my problem with this whole thing: I actually believe what God has taught through his prophets. We are the Lord's people. His covenants with Abraham (a prophet) describe the blessings and protections we receive. Moses (a prophet) gave us the law—a law which we the Jews still keep, by the way. Our current political system can be traced back to Samuel (also a prophet). Here’s a list of very specific things from the prophets that Dad and the rest of the Jeremiah faction seem to ignore:

• God promised this of Canaan to Abraham’s seed (that’s us, not the Babylonians). This promise was restated to Isaac, Jacob, and Moses.
• God promised Abraham that his seed will possess the gate of their enemies and those that hate them (in our day, that would be Babylon).
• Furthermore, He promised "I will cast out the nations before thee, and enlarge thy borders: neither shall any man desire thy land."
• Oh, and Israel will possess greater nations that are mightier than Israel themselves. No man will be able to stand before Israel. (quick note, while the nation of Israel has been destroyed, the true ruler of Israel as identified by Jacob is Judah. That same Judah that was protected from Assyria by God. The same Judah that has preserved the line of David.)

Finally, the Jeremiah faction likes to dwell on the perceived weaknesses of our leaders. They say these “sins” are leading to our destruction. I’m the first to admit, the leaders aren’t perfect. Of course they make mistakes. That’s why we observe the sacrifice of the Day of Atonement. It cleanses all our sins before the Lord and allows us to regain our oneness with him.

I’m thinking I’ll take these concerns to Dad. He thinks I’m rebelling against God, but I worry the same about him. Maybe going through the scriptures and helping him better understand our status as the Lord's special, covenant people might clear up some things. Please let me know in the comments if I’ve missed any scriptures or teachings from our recent prophets that could help get Dad back on the right track.

Drama in the Desert

I’m back in the Valley of Me again. Home sweet home (big fat nope!). The trip back down here had some drama. After about a day of walking, Hoshea (with a pregnant wife) and Ahijah (with a two-month-old) were talking to Laman about how hard the journey is for their families. They had apparently asked Nephi if we could slow it down, but Nephi was concerned about getting caught by the authorities for the whole Laban thing and was really pushing the pace. He slowed down, but apparently it wasn’t enough. So the next morning, I think Ashtaroth was ready to murder somebody if we kept up the death march. And I don’t blame her. She did not look like a comfortable pregnant lady. And I guess Sheerah’s baby wasn’t nursing real well, which Ahijah thought was because newborns don’t like being drug through the desert. Who knew?

This is not what desert living is like

Well, Hoshea and Ahijah found a listening ear in Laman who is probably even less jazzed about this trip than they are (and it’s not like Laman has a pregnant wife or a newborn to be concerned about). I also get where Hoshea and Ahijah are coming from. Ishmael doesn’t believe his life to be under threat like Dad does, so he doesn’t need to leave right away. He could easily wait about a year and his sons’ families would be in a way better place to make this trip.

So on day two, I figured I’d go talk to Nephi before Laman did. Laman doesn’t exactly have a soft touch when it comes to disagreeing with Nephi. Basically I told Nephi I was wondering if it’d be better for Ishmael’s family to wait a year before joining us. Nephi wasn’t really willing to budge on this issue though. He said that the Lord’s command to Dad included the statement that it wasn’t a good idea for our family to head into the wilderness alone. He interprets this to mean that we’re not going to be sticking around in the Valley of Me much longer, but will soon be heading deeper into the wilderness. So a year from now we won’t be camped out a few days journey from Ishmael’s home and might not be able to come back to Jerusalem again.

Turns out Laman was eavesdropping, and decided at this point to enter the conversation with all the tact of a Ba’al rage-storm. What follows below is basically my best recollection of their conversation:

Laman: Nephi, how does your brain work?! You’d rather follow through with an awkwardly and overly extended interpretation of Dad’s dream-musings than take care of the needs of a pregnant woman and an infant?! What’s wrong with you!!??

Nephi: [sad face]

Laman: Look, I know you wanna be in charge, but you’re not. Each of us here are adults and can make our own decisions. Let’s put the question to the group. [turns to face everyone] Alright listen, Ashtaroth is really struggling guys, and Ahijah’s baby might die because of this trip. Lemuel proposed an excellent idea—

Me: Why thank you!—

Laman: Shut up Lemuel, this isn’t time for your attitude. Now, Lemuel’s idea is for us to come back and get you guys in a year when Ashtaroth and Hoshea’s baby is up for the journey. Ishmael’s life isn’t in danger, and I’m pretty sure the city of Jerusalem can hold up until that point. So, what do you say? Hoshea?

Hoshea: Good plan

Laman: Ashtaroth?

Ashtaroth: It would keep me from murdering Nephi in his sleep tonight.

Laman: Ahijah and Sheera?

Sheera: Of course we agree.

Laman: Ishmael and Jehosheba?

Ishmael: Absolutely not. I know Lehi is a man of God, and I sense that same spirit in Nephi. The Spirit of God confirmed to me that He has commanded Lehi to bring us out of Jerusalem just as Nephi said, and I intend to bring my family out of Jerusalem.

Laman: Okay, I guess I care more for your grandchildren than you do. Next? All the single ladies?

Salome: I’m with Father.

Zilpah: Dad, you know it pains me to go against you, but Laman and Lemuel’s idea sounds like it’d be much better for our family. I ask you to reconsider.

Jael: I’m with Zilpah

Rebekah: Well I’m not. I honestly don’t know that Jerusalem has a year left.

Orpah: Agreed, they’re killing the prophets. The Lord won’t suffer them much longer.

Laman: Couple of prophetesses, eh? Whatever. Sam?

Sam: Laman, you know what the right thing to do is, so man up and do it.

Laman: What did you say to me?! Look, I happen to think the manly thing to do in this case is to not kill the infant and pregnant lady. That’s what I think "manning up" requires. I’m not sure what your definition is.

Nephi: Look! You guys are my OLDER BROTHERS! Why in the world do you have to be so deaf and blind that I, your YOUNGER BROTHER, need to be the example for you? Why haven’t you hearkened to the Lord? Did you forget that you’ve SEEN AN ANGEL!? Or what about His saving us from Laban while helping us get the record? Did you forget about that? How are you not aware that the Lord can do ANYTHING for us if we have faith in Him.

Laman: Nephi—

Nephi: And if we stay faithful to him, we’ll be given a new land of promise, and I guarantee that the Lord will at some point let us know when and how Jerusalem was destroyed. It’s gonna happen. The Spirit of the Lord has withdrawn from them, they’ve rejected the prophets, imprisoned Jeremiah and tried to kill Dad. And if you go back you’ll die with them. So you know what? You wanna go back? Go back up to Jerusalem, and remember what I’m telling you right now. You will die with them. I’m speaking the words that the Spirit of the Lord commanded me to speak.

Laman: You think you can curse me?! You dare to prophesy of my death?! We’ll see who’s going to die first. [sucker punches Nephi]

Me: Woaah—

Laman: —Lemuel, bring me your rope!

Me: Uhhh—

Laman: —He’s going to starve us all in the desert. Now bring me your rope!

So I brought him the rope, and I tied up Nephi while Laman held him. Looking back, I feel pretty bad about that. At the time, I was really bothered by Nephi’s approach to this whole ordeal and his insensitivity to everyone else. So I guess those negative feelings just took over. I figured after we dropped Ishmael’s family off in Jerusalem, we’d untie Nephi on the way back to the Valley of Me. But I was also kinda worried that Laman planned to actually leave him there, and I wasn’t looking forward to the confrontation that would be coming when I went to untie him in a day or so.

Laman then started rounding up the camp and getting everyone ready to head back up to Jerusalem. Meanwhile, I hear Nephi saying something (not sure who he was talking to), and he suddenly wriggled out of the rope, stood up, walked over to us, and let me and Laman have it (verbally). At this point, my calm nature still hadn’t returned and I was still kind of amped up from all the confrontation (confession: I don’t like confrontation; I don’t feel in control of myself in those situations). I thought Nephi was going to take a swing at Laman, so I stepped in and grabbed him. At that point, Jehosheba, Jael, and Ahijah came to play referee. Jehosheba’s just the nicest lady, which makes her a real force to be reckoned with when she puts her foot down in front of you.

I apologized to Nephi for attacking him, and guess what, even Laman apologized. Nephi’s response was “I forgive you, now it’d be a good idea if you pray to God and ask Him to forgive you as well.” So apparently he didn’t feel like he had anything to apologize for. That kind of stuck in my craw, so half of my prayer that followed was asking for forgiveness for attacking Nephi, and the other half was asking for forgiveness of my being bothered by Nephi who apparently thinks he’s totally in the right. I’m still working on that last half.

After the drama was over, we picked up camp and continued on to the Valley of Me (albeit at a pace more accommodating for Ashtaroth). Oh, and for those of you at home still wondering, Ahijah’s baby is eating again, and pooping, and doing all the baby stuff. Things worked out.

They're Coming with Us (and some prophetic words)

This update is coming sooner than I expected. The good news is I’m not in prison. Also, Ishmael’s place is pretty nice; we’re staying here to help him and his family get geared up to head out. And yes, that means he's going with us. Nephi did all the talking, which made sense. I still haven’t really drank Dad’s Kool-aid so I’m not a very effective representative of his views on this matter. Nephi on the other hand really sells it.

I dunno, maybe I’m being too hard on Nephi. That angel seemed to like him, and he did get the plates. So in spite of his weaknesses, I have to remind myself that he’s got some redeeming qualities. That’s hard to remember though, because I really don’t get what’s going on with him and Dad. They seem to be doing everything wrong, and yet God hasn’t stopped them yet. They criticize our leaders and our people, when it’s obvious that we’re keeping the Law of Moses. Yeah, we’re not perfect, but neither are Jeremiah's followers. Shortly before we left, I heard one of the prophets teach the following:

"Too many people think Jews and their leaders should be perfect or nearly perfect. They forget that the the Lord's grace is sufficient to accomplish His work through mortals. Our leaders have the best intentions, but sometimes we make mistakes. This is not unique to our faith, as the same thing occurs in our relationships among friends, neighbors, and workplace associates and even between spouses and in families.

Looking for human weakness in others is rather easy. However, we make a serious mistake by noticing only the human nature of one another and then failing to see God’s hand working through those He has called.

Focusing on how the Lord inspires His chosen leaders and how He moves Israel to do remarkable and extraordinary things despite their humanity is one way that we hold on to the Law and stay safely within the Good Caravan Israel."

Why do Dad and Nephi have to be so negative? Isaiah was pretty clear when he said, “How beautiful up on the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!…Break forth into joy, sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem: for Jehovah hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem.” Don’t they know what these words mean? Why would they rather be negative and criticize others instead of be counted among those who bring good tidings?

Anyway, sorry for the tangent, but it’s just something that’s been on my mind lately as I'm trying to figure this thing out. I admit I’m still at a loss.

Anyway, back to the main point, Ishmael and Nephi really hit it off. So Mr. Charisma apparently isn’t as awkward as I thought. He just gels with certain types of people. With Zoram and now Ishmael, I’m worried we might have too many of Nephi's “type” pretty soon.

Luckily they're balanced out by Ishmael’s sons and a couple of his daughters who seem to be a bit more practical. Both of Ishmael’s sons have one young kid, and his oldest son, Hoshea, will be getting a second kid soon. His wife, Ashtaroth, is about six months along. Sheerah, Ahijah’s wife (Ahijah is Ishmael’s second son), just had a baby two months ago. So needless to say, neither Hoshea nor Ahijah are all that pumped about abandoning everything to live in the desert. It was one thing for our family to do it with all of us kids being a bit older. But taking a newborn out to live the life of a nomad…well, I can see why his two sons are ticked at us.

Last night, I could see how unhappy Hoshea and Ahijah were with their Dad, so I pulled them aside and kind of gave them the run down. I let them know that most of us weren’t excited about it either, but it’s like Dad and Nephi are on a different planet. I told them to store their stuff somewhere secure because eventually our Dads and Nephi would come back to earth when the reality of the situation (read: potentially starving in the desert) set in. We just gotta get through this until Dad and Ishmael have had time to cool off and feel it’s safe to return. I don’t know if this helped them settle down or not, but at least they’re cool with me now and realize we’re on the same side.

Same goes for Zilpah and Jael, two of Ishmael’s daughters, who were there when I was trying to calm their brothers. They don’t have circumstances that cause the same level of concern as their brothers, but they’re rightfully concerned anyway. Zilpah’s worried that her dad is full on apostate now. He’s no longer just reading and listening to the Jeremiah faction, but now he’s abandoning Israel. I totally get where she’s coming from. I didn’t really have a good answer to help her out because…well…I worry about the same thing.

Four Brides for Four Brothers

It’s been a busy couple days. Dad finished reading the entirety of the brass plates and gave us the highlights. Turns out Dad and Laban were some sort of cousins, X times removed.

Dad had another vision or something, and Laman, Nephi, Sam and I are headed back to Jerusalem again. This time it’s to try and convince Ishmael to come and bring his children with him. He has a couple sons, but more importantly, he has plenty of daughters. I didn’t know the daughters super well, so hopefully one of them works out for me. I’m kinda concerned what with me only having four possible options (and it’s not like I’ll get first dibs either). As I recall, Nephi was quite smitten with one of them, so we’ll see how that works out. He’s never really been what I would call “smooth."

I’m not sure how it’s going to work out attempting to convince Ishmael’s family to join us on this “adventure.” Ishmael and Dad know each other pretty well, and I think Ishmael also sympathizes with the Jeremiah faction. However, it’s one thing to agree with Jeremiah, it’s another thing to abandon everything because your buddy had one dream telling him to abandon civilization and a second dream saying you should go with him. So I guess we’ll see.

If you don’t hear from me for a couple days, it’s cuz I’m doing lots of walking. And if you don’t hear from me for lots of days, I’m probably in prison. I’m a bit concerned that they might’ve connected Laban’s beheading to our family, in which case showing our faces in Jerusalem isn’t the smartest thing to do.

I don’t think that’s the most likely scenario though. I think it’s more likely the authorities figure Zoram killed Laban. I imagine when the whole thing was discovered, the officials saw Laban dead, the brass plates gone, and the servant with charge over the plates gone too. They probably pegged the whole thing on Zoram at that point and are looking for him. I better mention this epiphany of mine to Dad because I don’t think it’d be smart to bring Zoram with us. Nephi will be sad he can’t bring his new buddy.

Kidding, not kidding. Just kidding. No Seriously.

Oh, and seriously, I only have a couple dozen readers, and I know you're all my bros, so please don't mention anything to anyone about the whole killing Laban thing. And if it does slip, make sure the authorities know it was Nephi, not me, that did it. Seriously.

One last item of business, I really need a new description for this blog. I'm thinking, "Managing the crazy." Anyone have any better ideas?

So My Brother's a Sword Murderer

Sorry to leave you all hanging for a couple of days. We’re back in the Valley of Me, and I’m trying to decide where I should even start. Uhhh, Nephi straight up killed a guy. How’s that for a starting place? But let’s do the background first.

So if you recall a few days ago when I last posted, I left you all hanging while we waited outside the city walls, and Nephi was trying to get the plates. Shortly after I published that post, Sam spotted two guys headed toward us. Laman was the first to recognize who they were (or so we thought). He yell/whispered, “It’s Laban! Run!” All three of us took off only to hear Nephi yell at us to stop. We turned around, and suddenly realized it’s Nephi, dressed like Laban, wrestling some dude to the ground.

At this point in the story, I have no idea what's going on, but figured I better go help keep this guy down because whatever crap Nephi just got into would probably get way worse if the guy escaped. As I got to Nephi, I heard him explaining something about God commanding us to do this, and trying to convince the guy to go with us back to the Valley of Me. That’s kind of a tough sell, so I was surprised when the guy agreed, but I guess when you’re pinned down by your abductor and surrounded by his three brothers, you don’t have much of a choice. Also, the brass plates were on the ground next to the two. I was thinking, “I have no idea how you pulled this off, but I’ll bet it’s a good story.” And yeah, we’ll get to that in a bit. The guy is one of Laban's servants, Zoram, and over the last couple days chatting with him, I decided he’s a pretty nice guy.

Once Zoram agreed to go with us, Nephi wouldn’t immediately tell the story of how he accomplished everything because he was pretty sure we needed to get moving right away. So we walked for a couple hours then stopped for a super late night dinner where Nephi explained it all.

As you might recall, Nephi’s plan was to “follow the Spirit.” And so whatever that means, he was basically doing it, and ran right into Laban out in the street. Laban was passed out drunk and Nephi said the Spirit “constrained [him] that he should kill Laban.” Nephi said it was justified because Laban robbed us and tried to kill us. And I get that, but, I think it’s generally the role of the proper authorities to punish people for crimes. Otherwise, if everyone was their own judge, jury, and executioner, then we'd have chaos. Nephi also said the Spirit told him that he had to slay Laban so that we could have the records for our posterity. So he killed Laban, dressed in his clothes, tricked Zoram into giving him the plates, and brought Zoram out to meet the family.

What I don’t get is this: getting the records was necessary, but killing Laban wasn’t. Nephi could’ve done all of those things and left Laban alive, passed out, and naked in the street. We would’ve had a big enough head start on Laban that he wouldn’t have found us once he realized the plates were gone.

I mentioned this last point to Nephi, and asked him why he didn’t just leave Laman alive. I don’t recall exactly what he said, but it was basically along the lines of, “Huh, that’s an interesting point. I wonder why the Spirit didn’t tell me to do that. I’ll have to ask the Lord about that.” So yeah, not really sure where to go with it from here.

Zoram painted this picture to commemorate our return.
He's pretty good, but he barely included me!

The point is we’re all alive and back with the family. Mom and Dad were pretty happy to see us. I guess Mom thought we all died (at least one of my parents still cares). She said this experience taught her a lesson and she now knows that our family is doing as the Lord commands. But I’m still not to that point yet. All I know is that I used to find Nephi a bit abrasive, but now he’s jumped into a new category: scary.

Dad was so excited to get the records, that as soon as we finished offering sacrifices he grabbed the plates and started reading them. He found some shade just outside of camp and has been over there for hours reading. Anyway, dinner time. I gotta see if I can pull him away from his new book.

Stayin' Alive

Bored and scared. Figured I might as well kick out a blog post. We made it back to Jerusalem, and right now Laman, Sam, and I are hiding just outside the walls. Nephi is apparently improvising a plan/hopefully not dying right now. But let’s back up.

We arrived back in town yesterday, and Laman ended up going first—not of his own volition mind you. We cast lots and he was the one who had to go talk to Laban. We decided to just send one person because then Laban can only kill one of us, and mom and dad will still have some sons to help them out on this whole extended camping trip. Anyway, Laman goes in, asks for the plates, and it went about as well as expected. Laban (since he probably stole the plates) was probably really surprised anyone even knew he had them. Obviously he didn’t want this to get out, so Laban told his henchmen to kill Laman. I’ve never seen Laman move real fast, but apparently he’s got wheels enough to make it back to us alive. I’m thinking, "Alright, we fulfilled the commandment. We came up here, sought the plates, gave it our darnedest, and all of us are still alive to boot. So, not a great day, but could’ve been worse."

Nephi didn’t agree with my assessment of the situation. And even though my viewpoint carried the majority, Nephi seems to think his view is the only one that matters. After his dad-esque lecture, he actually came up with an idea that seemed decent at the time: Go get all the stuff from our house, and use it to buy the records from Laban. So we went down to our house to gather our stuff. It was pretty late, so we stayed the night there, and in the morning we came back up here with our gold and whatever we thought Laban might like. It was a slow hike back up here carrying all our stuff, and I was pretty exhausted by that point. We went to Laban’s compound and proposed the swap.

It was right around the moment we entered the compound that I figured out the plan wasn’t as decent as originally thought. You see, Laban had already shown his propensity to kill. He was willing to kill my brother just for kicks. Then, the next day, the four of us walk in unarmed, carrying all of Dad’s wealth right into his compound for him—his compound that’s filled with armed soldiers! That’s when I realized this likely wasn’t going to go as Nephi planned it. But by that point, it’s too late for me to voice this concern. I instantly dropped my bag of stuff on the ground and started trying to catch my breath because I knew I would be running for my life shortly.

Anyway, Laban, being horrible but not a dumb, saw the golden opportunity that just waltzed in and sent his guards to take us out. Running with a pack puts one at a disadvantage. Consequently, we were obliged to drop our stuff and ran like Ba’al was after us to get out of there. We got out of the city and they chased us for quite awhile until we found a small cave to hide in. We were pretty freaked out, and it took awhile to calm down.

In fact, I have to confess, I did lose my cool as a result. You see, up until this point, I knew that eventually things would calm down with Dad, and we’d all come back home when he thought things had blown over. Then we’d pick up with life like it was before. But the other problem with Nephi’s plan is that it didn’t leave any room for when Dad comes to his senses. You see, when we come back now, Dad’s going to find pretty much all of his stuff gone. It’s hard to run a trading business if you have nothing to trade.

So the realization that we (read: Nephi) just bankrupted our family hit while my adrenaline from almost dying was still pretty amped up. I flipped out on Nephi. Of course, it wasn’t just me. Laman was the first to inform him of how huge of a screw up he was. And man, Laman’s got a mouth on him. That kid needs to calm it down. Anyway, Laman got himself so worked up he started beating Nephi and Sam, and I joined in too. (For the record, I left Sam out of it, I don’t blame him for this).

However, I have to point out here, that in spite of how dumb Nephi is, we shouldn’t have been hitting him. And I guess it’s for that reason that the craziest thing happened. A guy appeared and told us to stop. The thing is, I’m pretty sure that guy was an angel or spirit or something. We have no idea who he was or where he came from, but he just walked into the cave somehow without any of us even noticing him until he spoke. He was dressed in a loose (really!) white robe that came down almost to his wrists and ankles, but not quite. He said something about Nephi being a ruler over us, and then he told us to go up to Jerusalem again, and that the Lord would “deliver Laban into [our] hands.” Then he just left. And I’m sitting there thinking, “Uhhh, why did you leave?! The four of us obviously don’t have the power to get the records from Laban. But you know what would be helpful in this situation? An angel!” Laban would be like, “Nope, I’m gonna kill you (ps, how are you guys still alive?).” And I’d be like, “Nope we’re gonna angel you first.” It would be really epic.

I think this would be pretty effective against a band of 50

But that can’t happen now. Because the angel left. Laman and I both were at a loss about what we should do now. I mean, if the angel commanded it, it must be God’s will. But the thing is, sometimes carrying out God’s will means you die. Isaiah got sawed in half for being obedient to the Lord. So, the fact I’m facing probable death for the 2nd time today was weighing heavily on my mind (and I think Laman’s too since this would be his 3rd time in the last 2 days).

Anyway, Nephi attempted a motivational speech that really we couldn’t argue with. I mean, the whole angel thing is kind of a trump card at that point. As we headed back up to Jerusalem for a third time, I pointed out that we have no idea what we’re doing. Luckily, Nephi told us to chill and he’d give it a shot. I asked him if he had a plan. His response: “Follow the Spirit.” I gotta give the kid some points for his guts. I’ve never been able to really understand what people mean when they talk about direct revelation/inspiration from the Spirit. I’ve prayed, and tried to get direction, but I just don’t think that’s how God talks to me. Anyway, since that’s Nephi’s plan, I hope that’s how God talks to him.

So the three of us have been hanging out here for awhile now. I’m just hoping Nephi’s still alive. Oh yeah, and in case you’re wondering, I apologized to Nephi and Sam (even though I didn’t do anything to Sam—that was Laman, but he hasn’t been in an apologetic mood). I figured just in case the worst happens, I’d like to have things cleared up between him and me.

Not sure how this will play out, but I’ll probably post again with updates when I get a chance.

A Good Day to Die?

Okay, I’m starting to wonder if I’m the one here who’s a prophet. Seriously though, what did I say in my last post? I was worried that Dad was going to go even farther down this road of crazy, and he has. He wants me and my brothers to go back to Jerusalem and talk to Laban and see if we can get him to give us the brass plates.

I tried to explain to him the challenge involved in this task. Now before I recount our conversation, let me give you some background. Laman was explaining to me that ever since Babylon got rid of our last king and installed Hezekiah, Laban has been on a power grab. The guy’s official title is captain of 50, but he’s actually way more powerful than that. Also, he hates the Jeremiah followers, and I’m not sure why he even has the brass plates. I’m thinking he probably stole them. I’m not sure if my dad’s dream about his life being endangered was true or not, but if it was, then Laban was probably the reason. Anyway, so this is what I remember of our conversation:

Me: Soooo, we are supposed to go to Laban, and ask him to give us the plates.

Dad: Yes, the Lord commands that you seek the records from him.

Me: Okaayyyy, but, why would Laban give them to us? If your dream about people gonna kill you was right, those people are probably Laban. I don’t see him being very cooperative. In fact, he might kill us. And if he doesn’t kill us, he’ll probably send some of his men to tail us back here so they can kill you. Sooooo, I’m just not sure how this could possibly work? Did the Lord happen to mention to you how we should do this?

Dad: He only commanded that you go to Jerusalem and seek the records from Laban. You’ll need to receive guidance from Him on how to do the seeking. This is an important part of yours and Laman’s growth into followers of the Lord.

Me: Okay, well, we can tell him that you said the Lord commands him to give us the records, but I don’t know that such a statement will lead to the desired behavior from him.

Laman: Dad, Listen to yourself! You’re going to get us killed for nothing. There’s no way we can get those records. We can’t steal them, his compound has too many guards. We can’t request them, he’ll kill us. Lemuel’s trying to point this out to you diplomatically, but you’re too foolish to see the truth. This is impossible, and you’re going to get us killed.

Dad: The Lord will protect you. Go in faith, and He’ll guide you to accomplish His will.

Laman: Is it His will that you and Mom are left without any sons?

Me: Maybe that’s why they’re having another kid. [snicker snicker]

Laman: Shut up, Lemuel!

And that was pretty much it. So yeah, now we’re gearing up to go back. I never had to deal much with Laban before, but Laman did, and he really doesn’t like the guy. He says we’re going back to our graves. Gonna be walking a lot the next couple days so I probably won’t have time to update everyone until we get back…if we get back. Probably shouldn’t be so morbid on this blog, but honestly guys, I’m kind of scared. Even if God did command this, it’s not like everyone who does God’s bidding always lives. Sometimes they die too. Pray for us.

Update: Nephi thinks it’s a great idea. Talking to him about the inherent problems with the plan was about as effective as talking to dad. Laman is more worried now because we have Mr. Social Skills himself coming along to interact with Laban.

My "Hard" Heart

After getting reamed out by Dad yesterday, Laman, Sam, and I tried to do a bit better to get back in his graces. We put in extra effort around the camp to help everyone get well-situated, especially Mom. Nephi disappeared, and near the end of the day, when Laman and I were making some traps for game, he showed back up. He said that he’d been praying to God to know if Dad was right or not, and that his heart was originally hard like ours is, but that God had softened his heart, and he now believes Dad.

"Hard like ours?!" I know it was his attempt at trying to relate to us, but the kid’s got the social graces of a blacksmith. Dad knew what he was doing in keeping Nephi out of the trading business. He’d have offended all our trading partners on the first caravan trip.

Anyway, my heart isn’t hard. I want to do what’s right, and this just isn’t it. The scriptures are filled with prophecies about how the Lord will protect his people. Why in the world would we abandon the covenant people? And now with Nephi to encourage him, who knows what Dad will believe and do next?

Thankful for...what again?

So after I posted yesterday, I came out and saw that Dad and the bros were building an altar. That initially struck me as kinda weird because we’ve never done sacrifices outside of the temple before. But I guess when you live out in the boonies, you gotta make do. Anyway, I went and helped, and asked Dad why we’re building an altar, and he said it’s to give thanks to God.

????

Yeah, that’s what I thought. We’re out here in the middle of nowhere, what do we have to be thankful for? And you know what, if it really was God that wanted us out here, that would be one thing, but I have a feeling that’s not the case. God is probably up there thinking, “Why are you thanking me for this?! I didn’t tell you to leave! Stick with the majority of my covenant people. There’s safety there."

Anyway, I didn’t say anything to him about what I was thinking. I’ve tried multiple times to talk to him about the importance of staying with the Lord's covenant people and His appointed leaders, but he doesn’t seem to listen. After we made the sacrifice, he named the river by our campsite “Laman,” and he labeled the valley we’re camping in “Lemuel.” He then told me he wants me to steadfastly keep the commandments of the Lord, which is what I’ve been trying to do, but it’s hard when I have to choose between the commandment to honor my father, and remaining with God’s covenant people.

As I pondered on this dilemma, I mentioned it to him; he didn’t seem happy about what I said. Then Laman chimed in. I love him, but dude sometimes doesn’t know when to keep his trap shut. He called dad a visionary man and a fool for leading us out here (which I kind of agree with), and then Dad lit us both up. Dad might be getting old, but he’s still pretty tough, and when he gets going, he's not fun to be around. No wonder the people at the market weren’t huge fans of him.

Dreams Followed

Surprise! We’re not in Jerusalem anymore, and no, we aren’t doing the whole trading caravan thing either. Dad followed through on what he believed his dream told him, and so we all packed up and left Jerusalem three days ago. Now, we’re just camping next to a river near the Red Sea.

Obviously, I’m concerned. Dad’s visions contributed to him joining Jeremiah's followers in the first place, and those followers generally just hate on God's chosen leaders. I’m not sure why Jeremiah has such an ax to grind. It’s possible he was jealous of the fact that he’s not the High Priest. Some people don’t understand that in the Lord’s household, the office you occupy doesn’t matter. It only matters that you serve. Ambition for anything else can lead to apostasy. Anyway Dad’s visions sent him down this path of apostasy in the first place, so how does he expect us to trust his visions that led us out here?

But, since we’re here, pics!

Luckily, there’s a little greenery and shade here where we’ve set up camp.

Okay, but seriously, I’m really conflicted about everything right now. Abandoning my family doesn’t feel right, but when Dad is taking us down the wrong path, what do I do? Right now I’m thinking I stick with my family and try to be the voice of reason. Hopefully, I can convince Dad to see the light regarding this path he’s taken, and things can return to how they should be.

Oh, and it looks like I might need a new blog description for the top banner. "Learning the trade of my father" doesn't seem like the direction this blog will be going, unfortunately. Comment below if you have any better ideas for a description.

Follow Your Dreams, Eh?

Hey everyone, how’s it going? Nothing big? Well, I have news. We’re leaving, but not for the next leg of the caravan. We’re getting out of dodge. Or at least, that’s what Dad says. He said he had a dream where God told him that people were planning to kill him, and that we all need to head to the wilderness.

The realtor admitted the location is sub par, but at least we won't be crowded by neighbors.

And the thing is I kind of believe him (maybe not the dream, but definitely the fact that he’s made some enemies). A couple buddies were telling me their parents are concerned about Dad. One of them even called him a wolf in sheep’s clothing because of the way he twists the scriptures to condemn our religion. I don’t know why Dad insists on pursuing this path, but he’s apparently not so crazy (yet) that he can't sense when he’s making enemies and causing contention. I think most of us would prefer to live our religion in peace.

Anyway, hopefully this’ll blow over and Dad will realize dreams just happen. I have some crazy dreams, and I’d be even crazier for trying to live my life according to them. I’ll be praying for dad. If you read this blog, please join me. I’ll keep you updated.

Maintaining a Balanced Perspective

Holy Cow, I just. can’t. even. right. now. Also, gotta apologize again that this post deviates from my blog’s stated purpose. But apparently delusions might be a side effect of working in this industry, so I figure we better talk about this.

Dad went into the market today and started yelling at people to repent. I don’t know what’s happening to him. He’s become very critical of the Jews and our leaders. He seems to focus incessantly on the negative, the errors, and where everyone else is going astray. I mean, everyone obviously has areas they need to improve, but most of the people I know around here are generally decent, God-fearing people.

Heck, we follow the Law of Moses, we keep the appointed sacrifices, and we listen to the counsel of our leaders. Laman said he thinks Dad is just a fool, but I think there’s more going on than that. Dad’s been around for awhile, and has done really well in business and in the community. He’s clearly no fool. So there’s something else...

I’ve noticed that the Jeremiah-following antis seem to focus too much on the words of the dead prophets. They try to pit the words of prophets of old against our current prophets and priests. The thing they don’t seem to understand is that Isaiah was writing for his time (about 100 years ago), not ours. Just because Isaiah condemned Judah for relying on “Egypt for help" back then doesn’t mean Egypt can’t help Judah repel Babylon today. But Jeremiah doesn’t seem to get that. Luckily, God has chosen our current leaders to provide us with correct direction for our current circumstances. Moreover, Jeremiah might be a priest, but he's just one priest and so his negative influence can be counteracted by the vast majority of the leadership. That’s why it’s important to listen to the majority, not the fringe.

So I don’t think Dad is a fool, I just worry that in listening to Jeremiah, he’s lost his balance. A balanced perspective comes from keeping our eyes on God’s chosen leaders. These anointed men are so close to God, and they know what we as a people need.

Anyway, as a result of all of this, Dad got thrown out of the market and kind of banged up. I feel bad for him; his knee looks pretty bad. I hope he takes care of himself and doesn’t pull something like this again.

Desert Sun

So this is supposed to be a blog about the trade industry, but I gotta deviate a bit because I think the desert travel might’ve affected Dad’s mind. He was being kinda weird today when he got home from Ramoth-Gilead.

He’s always been a pretty religious guy, but lately he seems a little...off. You know those haters like Jeremiah and his followers who are always speaking evil of our leaders and the prophets? Well, I’ve noticed him listening to some of their sermons recently, and he’s been more critical of our leaders of late.

Anyway, he came home from his most recent work trip with a weird expression on his face, didn’t say anything to anyone, and just went to bed. Then after dinner I overheard him telling Mom something about “destruction of this people.” Does he thinks we, the Jews, are going to be destroyed? It’s pretty clear in the scriptures that we’re the Lord’s covenant people. I don’t know how he could come to that conclusion.

So maybe the first rule of caravanning is make sure you don’t get too much exposure to the sun… ;)

Nephi Story

Okay, I’m posting again sooner than I planned, but I just have to share this story. Ishmael, one of Dad’s business partners, dropped by today. He wanted to talk to Dad about something but wouldn’t say what. He looked a bit nervous. Hopefully it’s not anything that will get in the way of our journey to Egypt.

Anyway, that’s not the funny part. The funny part came while Ishmael and I were visiting. Nephi returned home after finishing work for the day (he works for Hiram in his smith shop), and he was pretty filthy because smithing isn’t exactly the cleanest occupation. Now Ishmael brought his son, Hoshea, and two of his daughters, Zilpah and Rebekah, along with him. Upon entering the house, Nephi looked over at Ishmael’s family and went beet red. I’m not sure whether Zilpah or Rebekah was the cause, but it was clear he’s totally crushing on one (or both?) of them.

Hoshea invited Nephi to come sit with them, but the only open spot on their couch was between Zilpah and Rebekah. Nephi stammered out something along the lines of, “Uh, I don’t want to get dirt all over the ladies.” Hoshea responded, “I’m not asking you to lie with them, just come sit next to us!” Everyone laughed except Nephi whose eyes shot wide open and face went another three shades of red deeper than I thought possible. Nephi then practically ran out of the room mumbling something about how he had to go. Hoshea and Zilpah laughed even more, Ishmael jokingly said, “I guess there goes my future son-in-law,” and Rebekah was now blushing a little bit too.

Timeline of Nephi's face

After they left, I tried talking to Nephi to find out which of Ishmael’s daughters he has his eye on, but I think he’s still too embarrassed by the whole thing to talk about it. Poor kid. He’s a good kid too, but he’s very direct and doesn’t always know how to comfortably handle social situations. He’s not too adept at taking into account other people’s emotional reactions to his statements, and so I wonder if he also struggles to handle his own emotions. He’s nearly finished apprenticing for Hiram, so I’m sure marriage is on his mind, and the combination of infatuation, shock, and fear were probably too much for his brain.

Anyway, I really need to get back to work. I’ve almost got Dad’s records all cleaned up, and he’ll probably be arriving sometime today.

Trade and Bookkeeping

Dad and Laman will probably be returning from Ramoth-Gilead in the next day or two. He has a lot of connections up there, and some trusted trading partners. He asked me to get all his records in order before he gets home. When he returns from Ramoth-Gilead, we’ll need to quickly record his inventory so we can be on our way to Egypt without delay.

Dad’s never been one to care too much for all the accounting that goes along with the trade business, so his bookkeeping is a mess. I’ve been working through it the last couple days, and found some weird errors. He’ll often buy things, but then there’s never any record of selling it or dumping it (dumping happens when there’s something that he wasn’t able to sell;in the target market, and it’s not worth bringing back home). It’s almost like he just gives stuff away sometimes. I’ll have to ask him about these inconsistencies when he gets back.

As you can see, it's a total mess. And yeah, I know, one of the goats got a hold of this page.

Anyway, it’s definitely going to take all my time the next day or two to get the books prepared for our caravan to Egypt. Which leads to the first lesson I’ll pass along to anyone aspiring to get into this industry—make sure either you or someone in your family has a mind for bookkeeping. If you’re the type of person who primarily likes to travel and work with people, you’ll want someone that can keep track of what you’re buying, for how much, what you’re selling, and for how much. If you’re not making enough profit on your sales, you won’t be able to finance your caravans, and there goes your opportunity to do what you really love—travel and working with others.

I’ll be busy the next couple days, so I don’t think I’ll have time to post about the logistical preparations (the gear, taking care of the camels, etc). But if all goes well, my next post will be from somewhere out west of Kadesh-barnea, and I’ll try to recap how to handle the logistics at that point.

First Post!

Hey everyone, I’m starting my own blog. I’ve gone on two minor trading trips with Dad and Laman (my older brother) recently. In a couple months, I’ll be traveling with them all the way to Egypt to learn the trade business there. I figured I’d start this blog for those who haven’t had the opportunity to see this kind of travel.

I’ll be chronicling how we get ready for a caravan trip, what we take with us, and I’ll include lots of stories and pics from Egypt (hopefully said stories will include some Egyptian girls too). I’m thinking that in addition to getting into the trade business myself, I can help others using what I learn and share on this blog. Also, please send this blog to any friends you have that might be interested in getting to this industry.

Thanks everyone! I look forward to your comments in future posts.