Dad's Parting Words

Sorry it’s been so long since the last post. We’re planting again and getting ready for another year. Dad’s health has been really bad, so we’re taking care of him too. Obviously Mom does the most for him, but I’ve really been trying to help out wherever possible to. It’s just frustrating because it seems like he doesn’t notice.

For example, yesterday he called Laman and me into his tent and reamed us out about what happened on the boat. That was over a year ago now. Laman and I have both been working our tails off to help the whole family survive since then, but there’s no recognition of that. Just drudging up old mistakes we’ve made.

He then echoed a bunch of stuff Nephi said about prophecies of our descendants in this land. Then he wrapped up pulling the biggest guilt trip ever. “Hear the words of your trembling parent whose about to lay in the grave, from where no traveler can return. I only have a few days left. So awake from your deep sleep of hell, and shake off the chains that bind you and will bring you down to eternal misery.”

He then went on to explain that we need to obey Nephi, which bothered me of course, but I could tell really ticked off Laman (although he didn’t say a word). He then pointed out that if it weren’t for Nephi, we’d have starved in the wilderness south of Judah. But what he forgot to mention is that he and Nephi were the very reason we were starving in the wilderness in the first place.

Dad then went on to say that Nephi was only “sharp” with us because the sharpness came from God. I feel like that’s only half the story here though. You could say he’s just using the sharpness of God, or you could say he lacks empathy and humility. He refuses to see the other side of issues when we disagree, and I think that’s the root cause of the contention.

Mine and Laban's destined position

He wrapped up by saying that if we don’t listen to Nephi, he’s going to remove his blessing from us. So yeah, apparently everything Laman and I have done to support this family doesn’t matter one bit if we aren’t willing to bow to Nephi.

You now, it’s hard to deal with the impending loss of Dad. But he makes it so much harder when I now realize that I never really had him in the first place. To him, he was always Nephi’s dad, and he apparently wishes he wasn't mine.