It’s been almost a month now since Dad passed away. There’s a lot of tension right now in the family. Laman has assumed the mantle of leading the family, but Nephi, Sam, and Mom seem unaccepting of that fact. I feel like overall, Laman is doing his best for the group. He’s not prone to the whimsical “visions” that lead to suffering the way Dad was. He can be harsh, but it’s generally in trying to keep Nephi from leading everyone off on whatever foolish misadventure he’s conjured up. Mom has really been keeping the tension manageable up until now. Laman and Nephi both respect her, and so I think she’s the real force that has kept this group together.
But I’m worried things are going to get worse, and Mom’s limited in what she’ll be able to do. Yesterday, Nephi and Laman got into a huge argument. Nephi has been working on gathering gold, silver, and copper in order to make some tumbaga plates and start writing his own scriptures. Laman however thinks that Nephi should be working to provide more for the family. Of course, wrapped up in this whole argument is the subtext of who is really in charge. It ended with Nephi reminding Laman what the angel told us years ago outside of Jerusalem—Nephi would rule because Laman and I were wicked. Laman didn’t have a good retort for that, but you could see the anger boiling inside of him. The next day, Laman and I were out hunting and I was trying to calm him down a bit about Nephi, when we had the following conversation.
Me: Honestly, I think we’d be better off if we ignored him more. You’re the eldest, you have the right to rule, so just rule. As long as the family follows you, let Nephi do what he wants.
Laman: Lemuel, I don’t think you see what’s really going on here. Why did Nephi kill Laban?
Me: He said God told him that it’s better for a wicked person to die than for our posterity to fall into apostasy.
Laman: Now, think about your interactions with Nephi. How does he view you and me?
Me: …as wicked people who…might lead our family into apostasy...
Laman: So you see, in Nephi’s mind, he would be justified in killing you and me.
Me: You’re being paranoid. Nephi wouldn’t kill us!
Laman: Did you think he’d kill Laban?! He didn’t have to. He could’ve just taken his clothes, grabbed the plates, and we’d have been gone before Laban woke up. Ishmael died as a result of his actions too. And he abducted Zoram for no reason. Think about it, he didn’t have to bring Zoram out to meet us, did he? Why did he do it? Nephi’s lust for power knows no bounds, and he saw an opportunity to pick up a servant while demonstrating his superior obedience to Dad. The fact is with Dad gone now, Nephi’s going to make his move. If you want your wife left as a widow and your children without a father, keep your head in the sand. But I have a responsibility as a father to protect my family, even if you want to evade yours.
Me: uhhh...
Laman: Of course, your wife probably won’t be a widow for long. I’ve heard Nephi’s quietly preaching something to “the righteous” about adoption into the family of God, and “sealing" other women to himself. I think that basically means he’s marrying them. So I guess your wife could join his harem, and she’d be alright.
Me [trying to stay calm]: Now you’re just being a jerk. Look, Nephi’s loves power, but he wouldn’t go that far.
Laman: The kid keeps surprising us, Lemuel! I don’t want the next surprise to be fatal! I’m done talking to you about this; take some time to really think about it. Think about your family. Isn’t it your job to protect them?
I hate to say it but Laman kind of has a point here. With Dad gone, Nephi is a real threat to Laman and me. This is the sort of thing that’s littered throughout the books of the kings—brothers killing brothers to secure their rule. I don’t know what to do. Nephi’s my own brother, but I’m worried he might not value my life the same way I value his. With Laman, I at least know that he has the family’s welfare at heart. I hate this situation. There are just no good choices right now.
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