Which Dad Do I Remember?

Dad passed away yesterday. Right now we’re busy with the burial ceremonies, so I won’t have a ton of time to write.

This whole thing is really weird for me; I have a lot of mixed feelings. Most of growing up, Dad was amazing. He was this tough dude that would go out on the dangerous caravan trading routes and bring home riches. He was always kind to me too. I really looked up to him. Then he started listening to those weird apostates like Jeremiah who were attacking our religion and God’s chosen leaders. Once he joined that clique, he only ever seemed to be disappointed with me.

And then for the last twelve years, he’s brought nothing but increasing hardship on our family. And he thinks I’m the problem! He was warned in a vision that Jerusalem was going to be destroyed, and then once we get to this new land, he’s also informed via a vision that Jerusalem was destroyed. He offered that as proof that he did the right thing in destroying so much of what our family had worked to build. But if his first vision was crazy (or possibly a deception by evil spirits who tempt proud men like Jeremiah to rise up and condemn the rest of the leaders), then his second vision was likely also inaccurate. Then at the end of all of this, after I followed him out here against my better judgment, and put up with Nephi constantly trying to outdo the rest of us, after all of that, he tells my kids I’m wicked and that their curse will rest upon my head. He’s basically teaching them to not honor their father and mother.

So yeah, the part of me that’s still the kid back in Jerusalem is sad to see Dad go. But adult me has seen nothing but hardship and difficulty from Dad’s decisions, and so I hope our family can turn over a new leaf now where we won’t be led into suffering through the whimsies of Dad’s dreams. Laman might be a bit harsh at times, but he’s essentially a very practical guy. The challenge that’s coming will be Nephi. It’s clear he wants to be in charge, and his leadership would be just as poorly thought through as Dad’s, but it would have an added problem: he has a chip on his shoulder because he wants to be in charge, but he’s the younger brother. So who knows what he’d resort to if he thought he had a chance to take charge.

"Long live the king"

Anyway, over the next few days, we’ll finish up with the ceremonies for Dad. I’m going to try to focus on the good times before everything went south (literally).

Dreams Followed

Surprise! We’re not in Jerusalem anymore, and no, we aren’t doing the whole trading caravan thing either. Dad followed through on what he believed his dream told him, and so we all packed up and left Jerusalem three days ago. Now, we’re just camping next to a river near the Red Sea.

Obviously, I’m concerned. Dad’s visions contributed to him joining Jeremiah's followers in the first place, and those followers generally just hate on God's chosen leaders. I’m not sure why Jeremiah has such an ax to grind. It’s possible he was jealous of the fact that he’s not the High Priest. Some people don’t understand that in the Lord’s household, the office you occupy doesn’t matter. It only matters that you serve. Ambition for anything else can lead to apostasy. Anyway Dad’s visions sent him down this path of apostasy in the first place, so how does he expect us to trust his visions that led us out here?

But, since we’re here, pics!

Luckily, there’s a little greenery and shade here where we’ve set up camp.

Okay, but seriously, I’m really conflicted about everything right now. Abandoning my family doesn’t feel right, but when Dad is taking us down the wrong path, what do I do? Right now I’m thinking I stick with my family and try to be the voice of reason. Hopefully, I can convince Dad to see the light regarding this path he’s taken, and things can return to how they should be.

Oh, and it looks like I might need a new blog description for the top banner. "Learning the trade of my father" doesn't seem like the direction this blog will be going, unfortunately. Comment below if you have any better ideas for a description.

Follow Your Dreams, Eh?

Hey everyone, how’s it going? Nothing big? Well, I have news. We’re leaving, but not for the next leg of the caravan. We’re getting out of dodge. Or at least, that’s what Dad says. He said he had a dream where God told him that people were planning to kill him, and that we all need to head to the wilderness.

The realtor admitted the location is sub par, but at least we won't be crowded by neighbors.

And the thing is I kind of believe him (maybe not the dream, but definitely the fact that he’s made some enemies). A couple buddies were telling me their parents are concerned about Dad. One of them even called him a wolf in sheep’s clothing because of the way he twists the scriptures to condemn our religion. I don’t know why Dad insists on pursuing this path, but he’s apparently not so crazy (yet) that he can't sense when he’s making enemies and causing contention. I think most of us would prefer to live our religion in peace.

Anyway, hopefully this’ll blow over and Dad will realize dreams just happen. I have some crazy dreams, and I’d be even crazier for trying to live my life according to them. I’ll be praying for dad. If you read this blog, please join me. I’ll keep you updated.